Wednesday, 16 February 2011

Valentines Day, Evil or Innocent? states that a guy named Valentine may have been killed after it was discovered that he’d fallen in love with the prison warden’s daughter. The warden discovered a love letter signed, Your Valentine and had Valentine beheaded.

I’m not an overall fan of V-Day. I’ve been the girl at grade school who gets Valentines from all her classmates but doesn’t understand why some of the other girls get bigger Valentines.

I’ve been the girl at work to receive a dozen brightly coloured balloons along with a fragrant bouquet of pink carnations. Swoons of my female coworkers crowding around me fade to disappointed sighs as I open the card to read from your valentine – Mom.

I’ve been the girl who sits in her house in the pitch black, who doesn’t answer her phone so her ‘aww, no Valentine?’ pity calls will go unanswered and maybe all my friends would think I had a hot date for a change on that hated night.

I’ve been the girl who received a fragrant single red rose on her doorstep from the cutest guy in her group of friends. I thought I was special until I discovered that the most beautiful girl in our group got three roses from the same guy. Sigh.

I’ve even been the pathetic girlfriend who had to listen to her boyfriend tell her how funny it was that his ex received two bouquets from a standing order he’d forgotten to cancel, while the new girlfriend (me) read a card about why a remote control is better than a Valentine. Let me add that we were on a road trip, and there was no reasonable way I could push him out of the car and hope he’d die from road rash.

I can tell you that my Valentine’s horror ended when Peter showed up in my life, but it doesn’t mean I’ve been reformed to a believer in the ‘romance’ of Valentine’s Day.

When a person is in a loving relationship, how is it that the only way to ‘truly’ show your love is on one day when we’re commanded to buy jewellery, chocolate, flowers and sparkly cards. Don’t we show each other daily, with our actions, our words, our hugs and kisses how we feel?

If you don’t show your love in the above ways every day, then you deserve to get nailed on Valentine’s Day with thousands of dollars while you’re trying to make up for a loveless relationship.

However, for those of us that show our warm fuzzies every day, it’s time to take a stand against this madness, and here’s how we can conquer Valentine’s Day and all its relationship manipulation!

You can spend hundreds on flowers that die, candy that moves to the hips and never leaves, and cards that get old, dusty and thrown away. Instead, think of the money you can save if you’d just offer to cut off your head like the warden did to ol'’ Valentine.

Sit your honey down and bring up the origin of Valentine’s Day. Let her (or him) know that the only way you can show how much you truly love them on Valentine’s Day is to cut your head off, just like Valentine himself met his end. If you can look at your lover with a watery tear in your eye, even better.

Wait for the look of shock, awe and utter amazement. Wait for arms to be thrown around you, the hug of acceptance that shows yes, you really do love your sweetheart. If you’re lucky, and your ardour is returned, you won’t have to cut off your head at all, and this Valentine’s Day will be recorded as the most romantic in your relationship history.

And please, be good to those that love you, all the time. You don’t want next Valentine’s Day to come around, only to find a shiny new axe with a red bow on it, do you?