Okay - so I wrote a kind of political column this week, my editor even said she might get some nasty emails because of it, but that's okay - at least we'll know people are listening, right?
So, I'll post that column later, but right now, I have to share a story with all of my readers.
Our WTF Girl Cult has a member who has just lost what she thought was the guy she was gonna marry. I've met the guy, he seemed nice enough...but so did Ted Bundy, knowhatImean?
So things start out nice and lovely. CF has fabulous taste in everything and knows she needs a man that will treat her like the princess she deserves to be. She has drawn a line and told her man what she needs, and he bends heaven, hell and all earth in between to get it for her.
He cut ties with his ex, told C that he was off the mortgage, that she was his everything, that life meant nothing without her. Then his mom died.
Mama's boys only scratches the surface with this one, but according to C, he never took the appropriate time to grieve.
And then weird little things started to happen.
He called C psycho. He broke up with her a couple of times. But he slid his slippery way back in with promises of anti-depressants and therapy and really, C, you're my everything - I'll do anything for you.
It's been ten months and everything seems to be going okay. Her royal majesty, C has laid down the law and it is being followed to the letter, as it should.
Then C gets a phone call, from the ex.
Who tells her that the man is, in fact, still her boyfriend.
That the man, in fact, still has his name on the mortgage.
That he's been seeing C and the ex for the entire ten months
That the ex went with him to his mother's funeral.
So I get a call from C, slightly freaked out, a little bit on the downward spiral of crazy, trying to make sense of it all. She goes to her mom's and is consoled there, but man, my heart is with her. The poor girl hasn't even had the sense to call the man and find out if there's any truth to it. She knows. She knows it's true.
And before C can even pick up her head and decide he's scum, he calls her and calls her a psycho, calls her fat, and says he's going to kill her. He blames her for everything that's happened, tells her she's crazy, did I mention the fat part (which, of course, she is NOT, in any way - fat!)?
He has hacked into her email at the office, and the appropriate authorities have been notified of his felonious behaviour (they work for a government office, oh joy!)
C has been smart. The cops have been notified. Neighbors are on watch, C is staying with her folks.
Here's where it gets good.
Today.....wait for it....
HE was CAUGHT stealing C's garbage! Ewwwwwww!
Now, in a stalker-ish way, that's just downright scary. We know that. So C calls the cops after the nosy neighbor calls her - and the cops call him at work and ask what the hell?
Rumour has it he's acting appropriately embarrassed and slightly freaked out that he was caught, and that's all great.
But C? Are you reading, honey? It's time for a restraining order, darlin. This is just too creepy, no matter how pathetic the small (fat) man is.
And yes, he's a goon, a nerd, a freak, a total 3-D loser - but promise you'll keep security on him, and let me know what other delicious details arise so we can make fun of him right here on cyber-space.
And C? You are waaaaay too good for the likes of him, and don't you DARE believe any of that crap he said about you.
