To be published in the Mississippi Weekender Friday, 10/27...following is the 'Director's Cut'...
Have you ever found yourself getting caught up in watching people? Maybe you wonder what they’re thinking, what their lives are like, where they’re going?
Most of you are saying…um…NO. Well, I love watching people. I blame it on my Mom. When we would go out for dinner and there was an inevitable wait, she would entertain us kids by pointing at a couple outside the window and asking “What do you suppose they are talking about out there?” And that’s how my people watching got started. Truthfully, I became addicted when my mom and I concocted a story of a marriage betrayal, an angry mistress and a possible murder for hire. And this was all from a man and woman talking in the parking lot of our local pizza parlour.
In order to fully appreciate wandering humans, I must be out in public with nothing to do. Like waiting for my 90 year old mother in law to finish her grocery shopping at our local grocery store so I can give her a ride home. I've got the latest Candace Bushnell book to keep me company, but the people are so much more interesting at this moment.
Nobody knows I’m just sitting here in my car…watching them. Lanark County residents and visitors scurry through the parking lot, pretty much oblivious to everything except what’s on their shopping list. At least, that’s the safe thing to think.
I see plenty of friends wandering in and out of the store. I’m too lazy to get out and say hello, so instead I just wonder how they’re doing and make a quick mental list of people I need to catch up with. Beyond that, it’s more fun to pretend what strangers are thinking when they walk by. Not to mention taking a guess at what the heck they were thinking when they looked in the mirror that morning.
Case in point: There’s a woman in her late fifties, wearing bright orange spandex pants and a fuschia halter top under her parka. Now, a 'normal' person would look in the mirror and think:
1. I'm not in Florida or on a cruise ship
2. I'm not 19 years old
3. It's not June, and I'm not taking a trip to the sun
4. This outfit looks like crap, I can't go out in public like this!
However, since this grandmotherly woman took the time to keep her esemble on her body and subject herself to public scrutiny, here's what I must suppose she's really thinking:
“I’d better hurry or I’ll be late for my Vegas Revue. Must get more mascara and pasties, and check on my pole dancing class.”
See? That’s how it works.
There’s a lovely young man with a bouquet of flowers leaving the store. He wipes his brow and is talking to himself. Is he rehearsing an apology? A proposal? A request for a first date? The possibilities are endless, but I settle on the apology. It’s the middle of the day, after all. He probably stayed out too late playing poker.
There’s a harried father with two toddlers, one already pointing at the store, no doubt asking if she can hang out in the cereal or toy aisle. He’s contemplating it, but he’s also probably thinking his daughter will tell his wife when they get home, and that won’t be pretty. He pulls out the shopping list before he heads in through the noiseless sliding doors. He squares his shoulders like a man going off to war. His momma would be proud.
Sometimes, watching people is so entertaining that I’m almost disappointed when make-believe time is over. I didn’t even have a chance to think about the teenage couple holding hands, the gentleman that comes out with loads of soda cans, or the elderly lady getting out of the taxi.
The next time you’re waiting anywhere, make up your own story about the strangers walking by. They’ll be confused by the mysterious smile on your face…and that will be amusement enough....trust me on this.
