Showing posts with label Cats. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cats. Show all posts

Wednesday, 29 September 2010

Yesterday, the Universe Pooped On Me.

First, the dog (read, idiot) went out for his morning run while Peter fetched the paper – wait – the dog fetched, Peter retrieved. But Chip is a Labrador Retriever, so why doesn’t he just get the paper?

Because that idiot dog would rather roll in poop.

How do I find out about it? Ah, the good part.

I'm fresh from bed, dressed in my warmies and thinking about toast and an ice-cold glass of milk when Chip comes up for his morning "OMG it's Joyce it's JOYCE! I worship JOYCE!!”

He runs through my legs as I go to scratch his back. I realize  my pants leg is wet and look down. And see a lovely smear of . . .

Green, unidentifiable, poop.

Good. Freakin’. Morning.

I shriek, as is my favourite thing to do first thing in the morning. I chase the dog away, ripping the clothes from my body, shuddering and gasping and trying not to imagine what type of animal that had effectively just marked me.

Friggin’ GROSS!

Chip got a Palmolive and cold-hose bath immediately.

Then, I get to my office downstairs, where my cat has spent the night. Across the top of my desk is a nice little trail of mouse droppings, courtesy of number one and number two.

Sigh. My pets are SO fired.

I just knew it was going to

be one of those days.

Friday, 17 September 2010

It Wasn't What I Thought. . .

So I walk into the pavillion to unload my wares for a weekend of selling Gold Canyon at the Richmond Fair. Entering the building, I see a group of four people hovering around a stroller. Everyone is oooing and aaaahing over the apparently beautiful child in the stroller. The parents of said child nodded in agreement to every compliment.

I knew I had to go check out the chosen one, to see what the fuss was about. I was just about to go for a peek when one of the parents took her out of the stroller.

I nearly peed myself from laughing when what was revealed was a giant, furry cat.

Nope, not a baby at all. And making it even more perfect was the second cat that was pulled from the stroller.

I should have know, really. I mean, who doesn't take their cats to the fair, right?
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Friday, 10 September 2010

Herding 100 Cats in IKEA . . .No, Really.

What would we do without YouTube? I mean really, YouTube is the answer for surviving the summer re-run season . . .donchathink?

Thursday, 12 June 2008

Of Wild Turkeys and Woody Woodpecker

I love living in the wilds of Lanark County. I love the trees, the wide open sky and the amazing glittery carpet of stars at night. I especially love the critters, as long as they don’t want to suck my blood.

However, as much as I love the critters (Peter, too- we often will stand by the windows and watch them go by), apparently we don’t love them as much as our tabby, Wick.

I’ve told Wick stories before, and they always seem to start with . . . there was this really strange noise . . . you know, the kind of noise that registers in the cacophony of every-day sounds as not normal?

So there was this really strange nature noise that had me standing up to look out my office window. And what do I see? A fat white wild turkey running helter-skelter down the driveway with Wick in hot pursuit, her legs flying like the fastest cheetah.

I wish I could have seen it from the beginning. I imagine it would have been Wick, thinking to herself that whatever it was she was watching was the biggest thing she would ever try to tackle (besides the dog or me). I imagine she became a mighty huntress, stalking through our too-tall grass, crouched low to the ground, her tail swishing in dangerous arcs, her eyes wide, pupils dilated. She is no longer a house cat, she’s the mighty lioness, ready to bring down the meanest wildebeest on the plains of the Serengeti.

But, of course, all I got to see was the white wobble of the turkey and Wick’s rapid chase. By the time I screamed at Peter to come see, I was laughing and the frightened bird and our mighty cat were gone, only ghosts of dust clouds remaining.

Seriously, what in the world would she do with a turkey if she caught it? Would she expect me to serve it up with some stuffing and gravy? If she’d managed to drag that thing back, I would have served it on a silver platter to her. But the turkey managed to get away.

When the deer munch near our crab apple tree, Wick lays in the branches above or at their feet. I wonder if she provides the dinner conversation?

So there was this really strange noise, this time out the back bedroom door. I crawled out of bed and opened the drape, much to Peter’s dismay. It was kind of early on Saturday morning.

But that danged Woody Woodpecker was back, his full head of red feathers swaying in time with his loud hammering on our birch tree. The woodpecker was a full foot tall, and quite beautiful.

But what did Wick see?

Snack.

So she’s at the base of the tree, and the woodpecker stops hammering and starts bellowing at the cat, six feet below.

Peter didn’t want the woodpecker on the tree anyway, so he started egging her on, telling her to get that nasty woodpecker.

It’s not like she could have caught the bird, but she sure shot up that tree fast enough, accompanied by the ‘good girl!’ shouts from both of us.

You’ve got to love the chutzpah of our little Wick. She dreams big, and she goes after her dreams. I guess we could all learn a lesson or two from our pets, couldn’t we?

Maybe, but I won’t be climbing trees or chasing wild turkeys anytime soon. And the deer? They can have the apples, thankyouverymuch.

I'm sure Wick will let them know when she's had enough.

Saturday, 26 January 2008

Cat Herding Video

Holy stomach muscles, is this ever funny!

Source: YouTube - EDS

YouTube - When Cats Attack

Saturday's giggle - from YouTube:

Source: YouTube - When Cats Attack