Thinking Out Loud

Crazy, Stinkin’ Cat

2012-01-18T22:15:00.001-05:00

Bravery vs. Boredom

Wick is our 4-year-old tabby whose personality is unlike any other cat that has decided to accept me as their human.

With the cold of winter snapping its icy teeth at us, the Wickster can’t be bothered to go outside, except on the most necessary of occasions. But the boredom of self-imposed house confinement makes the deep, belly-rubbing snow look like it might be kind of fun to her. Add a little false-warming sunshine and Wick is outta the house to play.

When Wick steps out of the house, the first thing she does is shake the snow from her front paws. Then she licks them and puts them back on the icy ground. And then wonders why she can’t move.

Once she’s thawed her paws, she jumps off the patio to the snow below, staying close to the house where the snow isn’t so deep. But a fluttery leaf grabs her attention as it rolls across the stark white landscape towards the forest and she chases it, landing neck deep in the snow with each leap. She stops and starts stepping more carefully, as if realizing that her weight won’t sink so far in the snow if she doesn’t jump in it. Smart kitty.

Then a random woodpecker, at the very top of a 50-foot tree grabs Wick’s attention. Uh oh. I know our cat. She’s going for it.

She dives towards the trunk of the leafless tree, scrambling up about eight feet to do some reconnaissance from the roof of a bird house nailed to the side of the elm. She looks up – way up, and spots her plaything.

The woodpecker is oblivious, but can’t seem to get what he wants from the frozen tree. He jumps to another branch, and Wick climbs another 20 feet. Oy. That’s bravery.

Our cat is now at least 30 feet in the air and I’m having visions of firefighters dancing through my brain.

As she perches on a precarious-looking branch, I open the back door and ask her how she plans on getting down. She glances at me for just a moment before making a dangerous hop to another branch that bends despite her light weight. She looks skyward once more and finds her potential toy has flown away in search of less-frozen branches.

Now little Miss Wick has to get her furry behind down the tree, that too-tall, stick-straight tree where she is looking down from her 30-foot-high throne. Great. I call Peter and tell him to have a look. He wisely tells me not to worry – she got up there, she’ll get down.

And down she comes. Like she’s sliding down a fireman’s pole, using her claws as she backs herself down to the birdhouse perch that started the whole ascension into the sky. She jumps from the birdhouse to the ground, and comes leaping back to the warmth and safety of the house.

She meows at me a few times, as if asking if I saw her, what I thought, and too-bad-I-scared-you-but-I-would-do-it-again-you-gutless-human.

Sure, do it again, Wick. But wait until spring or summer when the leaves hide your bravery. Until then, please, kitty kat – you’re aging me. Stay bored! It’s much easier on us humans.

Now Here’s a Teaser That Made Me Click . . .

2011-09-16T18:12:00.001-04:00

The year's best police report stars an alleged hooker, an undercover vice cop, his rubber phallus, and an opossum crossing the road. Read all about it here:

http://bit.ly/rf4IUb

From The Smoking Gun

Swype . . . the Best Invention for Texting . . .EVAH.

2011-08-06T21:39:00.001-04:00

If you have a touch-screen phone and you text, well – ever – you should go right to http://www.swypeinc.com and download their beta product for the Swype input method on your touch-screen keyboard.

Really, Simply swype your finger across the keyboard in the order of the letters, without lifting your hand, and it just, spookily KNOWS. You will be astounded. Even my husband, who always just says “so what, it’s a phone,” said “now that’s pretty cool.”

I downloaded the product on the recommendation of a Rogers employee and simply can’t believe how intuitive this input method is. Even on testing the software on the employee’s phone, I swyped “What the heck is this madness?” and it entered it perfectly.

Madness is what it is, it’s so cool. It’s a free download in Beta form – and so far it works perfectly.

Trust me, once you use Swype, you won’t ever want to go back to thunm-texting, well. . . EVAH.

#swype

Yep, That’s Me. . . Fantastic

2011-08-02T17:37:00.001-04:00

From Bluntcard.com

After more than 23 years . . .

2011-07-26T23:22:00.001-04:00

This made me sniffle, just a little. . . hope she says yes!

July 24th. . . Entourage

2011-07-04T20:28:00.001-04:00

The final season. Nooooo!

Happy Canada Day and Happy 4th of July.

2011-06-30T23:26:00.002-04:00

Have a safe and happy celebration, people - and enjoy your freedom!

Katy Perry : People.com

2011-06-08T22:49:00.001-04:00

I so love Katy Perry.

Star Tracks: Wednesday, June 8, 2011 - SHOW GIRL - Star Tracks, Katy Perry : People.com

Nikki Reed, Paul McDonald Engaged : People.com

2011-06-06T20:09:00.001-04:00

Wait. . . .what?

Nikki Reed, Paul McDonald Engaged : People.com

Flickr Tags: Nikki Reed,Paul McDonald,engaged,Twilight meets American Idol

Here’s Your Wedding Invitation–November 18th–Bella and Edward. . .

2011-06-05T19:08:00.001-04:00

Now I Really Have Seen Everything. . .

2011-06-05T15:17:00.001-04:00

From The Florida Sentinel – my friend Londa posted this on Facebook and I am just apoplexic that people can get arrested for feeding the homeless.

This **** needs to go viral, people. Un-friggin—believable.

Flickr Tags: unbelievable,incredible,bullshit

I’m Just Sayin’.

2011-05-29T22:07:00.001-04:00

Who is Watching the Bachelorette?

2011-05-25T12:38:00.001-04:00

Can’t wait to see how this unfolds!

Though I haven’t watch every single season of this reality ‘romance’ series, I’ve watched most.

I am not sure how I feel with Ashley as the bachelorette, but as everyone deserves to find true love, let ‘er rip.

There are absolutely a couple of tools she’s already eliminated such as this tool below, but really – I can’t wait to see the context that some of the comments made on ‘this season on the bachelorette montage’ really mean.

Really, what’s up with the “I couldn’t give a **** about her?” comment?

Enjoy the drunk debacle.

If I drink more I may fall in love with you. . . that’s right buddy, keep drinking until she’s pretty.

Flickr Tags: drunk,the bachelorette,romance

Ponderings from “The Secret”

2011-05-20T17:19:00.001-04:00

Really, it’s no secret – it’s common sense, and it’s what God intends for us. Please read on:

“So often when things change in our lives, we have such a resistance to the change. This is because when people see a big change appearing they are often fearful that it is something bad. But it is important to remember that when something big changes in our lives, it means something better is coming. There cannot be a vacuum in the universe, so as something moves out, something must come in and replace it. When change comes, relax, have TOTAL FAITH, and know that the change (God has) is ALL GOOD.

Something more magnificent is coming to you!”

--Rhonda Byrne

Flickr Tags: secret,common sense,improvement,change,faith,God,good,future

Coincidence?

2011-05-13T16:19:00.002-04:00

Sigh. . .

2011-05-03T19:06:00.002-04:00

If I am truthful, I am not sure what I enjoy more. The pure, twitterpation of their kiss, or the little miss below, who is not impressed with the noise of more than 100,000 begging for that kiss.

Happy Easter Bunny

2011-04-24T16:17:00.001-04:00

This is all that's left of the Easter bunny at our house.

Sony Ericsson Wireless Stereo Headphones HBH-IS800 | Mobile phone accessories

2011-04-23T16:24:00.001-04:00

Finally! Wireless earbuds! Finally! Yeah!

Sony Ericsson Wireless Stereo Headphones HBH-IS800 Mobile phone accessories

What is it about Starbucks?

2011-04-11T18:22:00.003-04:00

So I am sitting here in a Starbucks in tiny Carleton Place.

Why we rated high enough to get one is beyond me, but I am thankful just the same. Yes, it is more expensive than the beloved Tim Hortons of Canada.

But it tastes so much better.

I love that Starbucks makes my drink like Burger King, my way.

Still, I treat it as a special occasion. So much so that I don't mind that my friend is 20 minutes late.
However, now I feel like one of those pretentious looking people, sipping my latte and thumbing this keyboard, nay- the world as I look through the plate glass window at the traffic going by.

Maybe I should call my friend. I could be stood-up-at-Starbucks.

ACK! Spring Fever!

2011-04-08T19:01:00.001-04:00

Someone Send Help, I Can’t Stop It!

It doesn’t matter how much I try to deny it. The season is changing, as is my need to come out of hibernation. I look forward to coming back to life after a cold winter. I relish the warmth of the sun on bare limbs as much as anyone does after four or five months of a serious vitamin D deficiency.

It started last week, with the melting of most of our snow. The sun had promise, and hey, spring officially started on Wednesday the 21^st, so I guess my transformation should be expected. Spring is here at last!

In a way, spring’s arrival is unfortunate. With spring comes my unquenchable desire for spring cleaning, and it seems there is nothing I can do to stop it. And trust me, I wouldn’t mind being able to stop this cleaning freak I am about to become.

Ugh. This means I will battle dust rabbits, cobwebs and mysterious smudges on the walls. And I will battle them all with the seeming superpower of a woman possessed.

I’ve already updated my MP3 player with my latest musical acquisitions. I’ve even stocked up on Mountain Dew Energy – twice the caffeine, none of the sugar. Tasmanian cleaning devil, here I come!

Of course, I will fight it. There is still snow on the ground, so that means I can’t open the windows yet. And I wouldn’t dare start my mad get-the-winter-out cleaning until I can let the winter air out of the house as well. Otherwise, I’m just cleaning winter, and I am so done with winter.

I’m sure most of us go through the spring cleaning thing. But do any of you go as crazy as I do?

Spring cleaning means re-organizing all of the closets and drawers. It means wiping down every baseboard, cleaning every window, inside and out. I will stock the sun-room with spring and summer appropriate items, and will no longer use the room as a deep freeze, or a place to keep the trash from smelling.

The floors will be scrubbed and mopped, the hardwood will shine! When I am finished, any cobwebs that I missed will pack up and move themselves, for fear of my broom. Dog and cat hair will flee the animals before they come in the house!

Oh, sorry, a little carried away there. I guess that won’t happen, will it?

In the cleaning frenzy, I will undoubtedly find many items that we no longer need or want. And so the yard sale pile will grow, driving me crazy until the weather is nice enough to chuck all the stuff out onto the laneway and pray someone else sees it as treasure. We need room for all the garage sales we’re going to hit, too.

Uh oh. The Mountain Dew is starting to kick in and Beyoncé wants me to get all Crazy-in-Love-with-cleaning so I’d best not waste this artificial energy I’ve got. Winter is daring me to kick it out of my house, and I’m more than ready to do it.

Flickr Tags: spring,spring cleaning,crazy lady,housework,snow melting,mood swings

Rod Hull and Emu on The Tonight Show

2011-03-29T18:06:00.000-04:00

So I went to Triple A Farm today to interview some Emu farmers for a story I am writing. It was great fun and also reminded me of a skit I used to see on television when I was a kid. I'm pretty sure it was on the Hudson Brothers. This guy had an emu puppet, and sometimes the puppet wasn’t nice, but I remember it being REALLY funny. So of course I You Tubed and found Rod Hull and Emu from an appearance on Johnny Carson. Enjoy the clip and notice that all three people featured in this clip have passed on to the big comedy venue in the sky. I am particularly grateful to the people that save these clips and upload them for all of us to enjoy.We should all be grateful for digital memories! How many of you remember this emu puppet?

A Legend Never to be Forgotten. . .

2011-03-23T19:57:00.001-04:00

There’s A Reason It’s Called Dental-phobia.

2011-03-01T14:44:00.001-05:00

My tooth hurt. A lot. That meant I would be going to what I feel is one level up from hell itself, and that’s the dentist. Since there were no available appointments in Carleton Place, I would have to go back to my dentist in Barrhaven.

I take care of my teeth so I DON’T have to go to the dentist. I believe that if my teeth aren’t broke, they don’t need fixing. I can tell you with great certainty that I am not alone, because let’s face it, sometimes dentists are scary.

Enter my unavailable dentist’s father, a super-happy dental guy who has been poking at teeth for probably half his life. I swear that after he x-rayed my sore tooth, there was a gleam in his eye as he said those two dreaded words to me. . . root canal.

Gulp.

After the lecture about if I had been getting regular check ups he could’ve caught the cavity before it killed my tooth, he told me to come back in a week and he would fix it.

I hate lectures.

It’s a week later, and I should’ve known there would be a problem when I walked in, and Dr. Evil Dentist hollered before I could sit down that I was one minute late and he had to get me in that chair and get me frozen.

I was already frozen with fear.

I apologized for wasting his 60 seconds and popped my bum in that chair before another 5 seconds was missed.

I’d brought my MP3 player with me to listen to music while my mouth was torn asunder. I figured I’d be distracted and could turn up the volume when the drilling in my skull became too loud to bear. I thought it was pretty darn smart of me to bring it.

Dr. Dentist wouldn’t let me fiddle with my headphones until he had jabbed that numbing needle into my gum line a few times. It was a better use of time. After all, we had 60 seconds to make up for.

Ever heard of a dental dam?. It’s a piece of balloon that they put around the tooth for a clean working environment. Dental dams are great, I guess, if you like choking on and tonguing latex.

The worst part is that I have a small mouth. Quit laughing, people. Figuratively, I have a huge mouth. Physically, not so much.

So when Dr. Dentist peels my top lip back over the top of my head and skull to the back of my neck and uses a crowbar to get my jaw open wider, I feel like the corners of my mouth are going to tear open and leave me smiling like the Joker for the rest of my life.

God be praised for skin elasticity.

Let it be known that I am still not allowed to put on my headphones and float away on a musical cloud of phony comfort.

Dr. Dentist prefers to give me a John Madden play-by-play as he works on my tooth; what’s inside, how the roots grow and die. If I could talk, I would’ve told him that if I wanted to know my tooth that well, I’d go out and buy the biography.

Here’s the scary part. After the drilling, the scraping, the buffing, the poking, the stuffing, the incessant lecturing, the gleam in his eye returned.

He said, as if in a bizarre Apocalypse Now scene that :Yeah, there’s nothing like the rush of a good root canal in the morning.

He says he’ll never quit dentistry. The bead of sweat hanging from his chin sent me into a panicked state and I would’ve run screaming if I could.

I couldn’t look away from that one drop of sweat, knowing that at any second, it could fall on me.

I was approaching a good anxiety/panic/nervous breakdown attack before the nurse reached over and wiped his chin. I tasted latex and bile.

Ten minutes later I was out of there. I cried a little, because it was a mentally damaging 45 minutes. I guarantee you that I will let all of my teeth fall out and wear George Washington’s teeth before I will visit that dentist again.

No dentist should ever take that much joy in his work, in my pain. It’s just creepy.

Lena Horne Stormy Weather

2011-02-27T22:59:00.001-05:00

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Ann's Dresses

2011-02-27T22:20:00.001-05:00

I do believe number three is my favorite!

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Blah-nchette

2011-02-27T21:58:00.001-05:00

So NOT loving her dress. Did someone spit up on her shoulders?

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Oscars. . bleep - Not!

2011-02-27T21:07:00.001-05:00

Melissa Leo, I love you. Wins it and lets fly the first f-bomb to NOT be bleeped by ABC. . .heeeee!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Oscar

2011-02-27T20:41:00.001-05:00

Love Ann's first dress. Loved the opening as well. Ann is the youngest host in the history of the Oscars.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Spam – Congratulate Me, I Am a WINNER!

2011-02-23T21:24:00.001-05:00

By the time you read this, I will have responded to the 187 daily e-mails that I’ve received for as long as I’ve had an e-mail account. And all of these e-mails proclaim I am a winner. I’ve given up the fight and am claiming all of my prizes. I have tried to live a humble life, but can do so no longer. They said I am a guaranteed winner, so I’ll no doubt write to you next from the shores of a fabulous tropical island, dripping in diamonds while I sip frothy cocktails.

Here’s the plan: first, I’ll respond to all the guaranteed cash winning e-mails. That will net me an assured $756,434, and that’s just today’s mail.

Next, I’ll begin an itinerary that includes every trip that I have been guaranteed, every airline ticket, celebrity filled cruise and African safari. From a week’s worth of e-mails, I figure Peter and I can circumnavigate the globe about three times before we run out of gas, so to speak. And even then, the thousands of dollars in promised gas cards should help out a bit.

I will outfit myself in all of the free clothing, shoe and jewellery gift cards that have been promised me by the likes of Niemen Marcus, Tiffany & Co., Juicy Couture, Abercrombie & Fitch and Nine West. Every card promises a $500 shopping spree. I don’t know about you, but I love a designer that cares enough to just give their stuff away.

When Peter and I return home from our extensive travels, the latest in electronics will be waiting for us. Because of all the free cell phone offers I’ve received, Peter and I will be able to give cell phones to every deer and squirrel that lives in the woods surrounding us. We may have to give away any number of plasma televisions, as there are only so many rooms in our house, and these companies just won’t stop guaranteeing me a new television.

In fact, the Internet people care so much about me winning all of these treasures that they’ve made sure to contact me no less than an emphatic sixty-two times each, just to make sure that I’ve been given enough warning. It’s only when I receive that ominous ‘final notice’ that I give in and claim my prize. It’s like I’ve given them every opportunity to give the prize to someone else, but they really want me to have it.

I’m thinking of hiring a personal assistant just to write thank you notes for the flattering kindness I receive, every single day, via my sweet e-mail in-box.

I guess if I was a smart girl, I’d quit daydreaming and maybe adjust the spam settings on my e-mail account before I climb out of my designated spot in the Matrix into the cocoon of wealth.

And really, maybe I shouldn’t be so greedy. Give me your e-mail address, and I’ll share the wealth by forwarding them to you. After all, there’s always tomorrow’s batch of false hope. I’m happy to share.

Valentines Day, Evil or Innocent?

2011-02-16T16:01:00.001-05:00

History.com states that a guy named Valentine may have been killed after it was discovered that he’d fallen in love with the prison warden’s daughter. The warden discovered a love letter signed, Your Valentine and had Valentine beheaded.

I’m not an overall fan of V-Day. I’ve been the girl at grade school who gets Valentines from all her classmates but doesn’t understand why some of the other girls get bigger Valentines.

I’ve been the girl at work to receive a dozen brightly coloured balloons along with a fragrant bouquet of pink carnations. Swoons of my female coworkers crowding around me fade to disappointed sighs as I open the card to read from your valentine – Mom.

I’ve been the girl who sits in her house in the pitch black, who doesn’t answer her phone so her ‘aww, no Valentine?’ pity calls will go unanswered and maybe all my friends would think I had a hot date for a change on that hated night.

I’ve been the girl who received a fragrant single red rose on her doorstep from the cutest guy in her group of friends. I thought I was special until I discovered that the most beautiful girl in our group got three roses from the same guy. Sigh.

I’ve even been the pathetic girlfriend who had to listen to her boyfriend tell her how funny it was that his ex received two bouquets from a standing order he’d forgotten to cancel, while the new girlfriend (me) read a card about why a remote control is better than a Valentine. Let me add that we were on a road trip, and there was no reasonable way I could push him out of the car and hope he’d die from road rash.

I can tell you that my Valentine’s horror ended when Peter showed up in my life, but it doesn’t mean I’ve been reformed to a believer in the ‘romance’ of Valentine’s Day.

When a person is in a loving relationship, how is it that the only way to ‘truly’ show your love is on one day when we’re commanded to buy jewellery, chocolate, flowers and sparkly cards. Don’t we show each other daily, with our actions, our words, our hugs and kisses how we feel?

If you don’t show your love in the above ways every day, then you deserve to get nailed on Valentine’s Day with thousands of dollars while you’re trying to make up for a loveless relationship.

However, for those of us that show our warm fuzzies every day, it’s time to take a stand against this madness, and here’s how we can conquer Valentine’s Day and all its relationship manipulation!

You can spend hundreds on flowers that die, candy that moves to the hips and never leaves, and cards that get old, dusty and thrown away. Instead, think of the money you can save if you’d just offer to cut off your head like the warden did to ol'’ Valentine.

Sit your honey down and bring up the origin of Valentine’s Day. Let her (or him) know that the only way you can show how much you truly love them on Valentine’s Day is to cut your head off, just like Valentine himself met his end. If you can look at your lover with a watery tear in your eye, even better.

Wait for the look of shock, awe and utter amazement. Wait for arms to be thrown around you, the hug of acceptance that shows yes, you really do love your sweetheart. If you’re lucky, and your ardour is returned, you won’t have to cut off your head at all, and this Valentine’s Day will be recorded as the most romantic in your relationship history.

And please, be good to those that love you, all the time. You don’t want next Valentine’s Day to come around, only to find a shiny new axe with a red bow on it, do you?

The Power of my Handbag

2011-02-03T19:40:00.001-05:00

The last time Peter and I went out of town, we had a couple of stressful moments. I gave our last twenty dollars (cash) to our neighbour for pet-sitting while we were gone. Peter doesn’t like to travel without cash, and if-he’d-only-known-he-would’ve-got-cash-before…my counter was what’s-the-big-deal-we-have-an-ATM-card-right?

Boys like cash in the wallet.

It turns out there was enough spare change to fuel Peter’s brain for driving in the form of a Timmy’s Iced Cap (that’s a Tim Horton’s Iced Cappuccino for those south of the border).

Problem solved.

Note: There wasn’t enough change for both of us to get something at Timmy’s, so I chose my battle wisely and let Peter feed his monkey, while mine moaned silently.

When we arrive at the hotel, it’s dark. I’m pretty sure I’ve just dropped my dark brown leather glove on the pitch black parking lot, and I am not happy.

“Anyone got a flashlight?” I ask this of my husband and the concierge. No flashlight. The flashlight that doubles as the rear cargo light in my car has decided to take the night off.

Magically, there’s no flashlight at the hotel. Does that make any sense? What does the hotel do in emergencies, light a candle? Maybe they’ll let me set a bottle of shampoo on fire for light out there. And why is the parking lot so dark, anyway?

I really liked those gloves, too.

In the hotel room, I set about organizing my things, all the while grumbling about how nobody better run over my favourite glove. I begin to clean out my gen-u-ine counterfeit Chloe Betty handbag. I pull out trash, receipts, anything that I don’t want cluttering my perfectly organized purse.

But wait? What’s this? Change?

Of course!

What woman doesn’t have change at the bottom of her purse? I pull out $8.57….imagine that. $8.57 that could’ve landed me an Iced Cap about 300 kilometers ago. I proudly put the change in front of Peter. “Here you go, honey. Take my money and buy yourself something pretty.”

I’m such a good martyr.

As I root around in the vast caverns of my bag, my hand slides around something cool and smooth. I pull it out. Well I’ll be….it’s a flashlight! I laugh myself silly over this one. This has been in my bag since we went on a night zoo safari. Excellent. Now I can go look for my glove like a professional!

And that’s when it hits me. A properly packed handbag can help a woman out in many situations. Here’s what I found in mine, and how I will classify each item for future MacGyver or Mission Impossible purposes…

Antibacterial hand gel: Combats bird flu, mad cow disease, malaria, West Nile virus and general smarminess in icky people.
Cell Phone & PDA: To keep up to date on important missions
Halloween jewellery: To go into deep disguise at a moment’s notice
Breath Spray: Sweet breath when gossiping…er….networking is crucial
Business cards: To secure future missions
Memo pad & pens: Used to leave notes, hints, clues, and to throw the bad guys off the hunt.
Make up, dental floss, gum, hand cream: Come on, a girl on a mission has to look her best
Tide Pen: NEVER leave home without it.
Atomic Fireballs: A seriously hot cinnamon candy that can act as a flame thrower at a moment’s notice.

My handbag is full of mysterious powers that delight and amaze. Ladies, if you plan correctly, you could have an all-magical handbag yourself. And you’ll never have to ask a man (or a hotel) for a flashlight again.

Just A Few Things To Be Happy About . . .

2011-01-27T15:39:00.001-05:00

Music in the air. . .

Reading all night and sleeping all morning. . .

Watching the same television shows or movies with someone even when you’re not together. . .

Steaming cups of hot tea and warm scones to go with them . . .

New shoes . . .

Having a marvellous drink in a glamorous place before going to the theater to sit in the cheap seats. . .

LIKE it if any of these things can bring a smile to your face.

Hey Bachelor Fans!

2011-01-26T19:18:00.001-05:00

If you love or hate ABC’s The Bachelor, you will enjoy the best episode re-cap out there. Succinct and sarcastic – chances are you will get a laugh.

From The Hollywood Gossip

http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2011/01/the-bachelor-recap-black-eyes/

From Country Strong–Nice Song

2011-01-07T19:09:00.001-05:00

Christmas Wishes from Peter and Joyce. . .

2010-12-24T19:11:00.001-05:00

Our Wish for you and yours . . .
A wish for peace to break into your home.
A wish for thieves to come and steal your debt.
A wish for the pockets of your clothing to become magnets for $100 bills.
A wish for unconditional love to stick to you like Vaseline.
A wish for laughter to assault your lips.
A wish for happiness to slap you across the face.
A wish for your tears to only be those of joy.
A wish for the problems you have to forget where you live.
A simple wish for 2011 and beyond to be the very best years of your life.

Merry, merry Christmas to all of you, our beloved family and friends.

Peter and Joyce

Oh Yeah, You Know You Love It. . .

2010-12-21T13:44:00.001-05:00

Happy Monday, Peeps!

2010-12-13T11:47:00.001-05:00

WTF Indeed.

2010-12-02T17:36:00.001-05:00

Holi-Deal Promotions for Gold Canyon Customers

2010-11-26T21:37:00.001-05:00

Available at my Gold Canyon Website!

Below are the promotion codes:

Free Shipping with a minimum order of $75 –Promo Code: HOLIDEALSHIP

Free Shipping + $5 Off with a minimum order of $95 – Promo Code: HOLIDEALSHIP5

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Free Shipping + $15 Off with a minimum order of $175 –Promo Code: HOLIDEALSHIP15

Customers can shop with these offers anytime Wednesday, 11/24/10 – Monday, 11/29/10.

Start Gathering Your Nuts, People.

2010-11-25T20:37:00.001-05:00

The first day of winter is set for December 21st this year. So why does it feel like Old Man Winter has decided to come crash the party early, even if he hasn’t brought the S*** yet? Clean it up people, I’m talkin’ about the icy white stuff there.

Let’s face it, besides the green grass, there’s not much left that’s glamorous or beautiful about fall anymore. Now it’s time to wait for the white to come and monochrome our normally colourful and lush slice of the world for a few months.

It seems that we’re going from tank tops to turtle necks without so much as a three quarter sleeve sweater set in between (not that I own such a thing.). Attractive fall fashions will quickly become hidden under uncomely layers of wool, cotton, fleece and thermal, and the more the better. There will be no disguising a smart outfit underneath all the layers. This is about survival, friends.

When I moved to Canada in 2002 I was so charmed by the thought of an actual white winter that I couldn’t wait for those first fluffy flakes to fall. The irony of that year was that we had zero snow on Christmas day. My first white Christmas in Canada was no such thing.

When the snow came at last, I played, and played hard. I was so excited to be able to walk out my front door and across the lawn to slide down the hill into the field below. I snow angel-ed and played fetch-the-snowball with our dog, Chip. I revelled in the fresh, crisp snow and how alive the cold snap of the air made me feel. My first white winter in Canada was absolutely magical for me, even if my husband did shake his head and tell me often… “Just wait. The charm will wear off.”

“Never!” I’d cry with glee and pelt him with a snowball for trying to Grinchify my winter fun. That year, my party ended when I slid on my saucer down a hill, across an ice patch and into the barbed wire fence at the end of the pasture. Icy barbed wire in the bum does not define winter charm, but it does make for an interesting scar.

The following year as I played with my dog, I slipped on an snow-covered ice hill and went down on my left knee cap, cracking it. My dog, in all his excitement, managed to lift his leg and pee on me.

Winter fun now = pain and humiliation. Winter fun SO over.

The following year I slid the car off the road a couple of times while learning to manoeuvre the treacherous paths we call roads during frozen rain storms, blizzards or a combination of both at the same time. The only fun I found in that was using very creative words in my prayers when begging my car to stay on the road.

So now my knee hurts every winter, and I work from home out of pure fright and need for life preservation.

If you see me out during the months of the white-out – I’ll be the one in a helmet, elbow and knee protection, spiked shoes for grip and a big long coat to cover my skin so it won’t burn in the wind. Basically, I’ll be the freaky Sasquatch-looking thing until March. See you then, people.

Start gathering your nuts.

Eddie Izzard Star Wars. . . Funny Stuff

2010-11-19T17:52:00.001-05:00

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Axe - Clean Your Balls

2010-11-18T11:47:00.000-05:00

Thinking Out Loud on “Frozen”

2010-10-03T21:36:00.001-04:00

IMDb link:http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1323045/

“A typical day on the slopes turns into a chilling nightmare for three snowboarders when they get stranded on the chairlift before their last run. As the ski patrol switches off the night lights, they realize with growing panic that they’ve been left behind dangling high off the ground with no way down.

With the resort closed until the following weekend and frostbite and hypothermia already setting in, the trio is forced to take desperate measures to escape off the mountain before they freeze to death. Once they make their move, they discover with horror that they have much more to fear than just the frigid cold. As they combat unexpected obstacles, they start to question if their will to survive is strong enough to overcome the worst ways to die.

Kevin Zegers (TRANSAMERICA, DAWN OF THE DEAD), Shawn Ashmore (X-MEN, THE RUINS) and Emma Bell (DOLLHOUSE, SUPERNATURAL) star in this intense suspense thriller, from writer/director Adam Green (HATCHET) and Producer Peter Block (SAW I-VI, CRANK, RAMBO)” from the Press Kit.

I ended up watching this movie on accident (read- there was nothing else on). I’m not sure if I’m glad or disturbed that I gave away a couple hours of my life to see this.

The production values were as budget trim as they could be- but really, how much Hollywood fantastica do you need when you’re stranded on a chair lift?

If you enjoy survival thrillers then you will be entertained by this film. It’s suspenseful in its simplicity. It was intense and very realistic, as in – I can totally imagine it would be this horrible to be stranded on a chair lift in the middle of a snowstorm.

Not that I would ever be stupid enough to do so, mind you.

There’s really not much I can say and not scream “SPOILER ALERT!”, but I will say to watch it. I found myself drawn in to the fear and the very realistic probability that there was no possible hope.

There are no heroes to cheer for. There are no bad guys you want to see die. There is nothing but survival and choices, and the reality of those choices.

Some scenes are disturbing in their reality, but hey – this might actually be what happens in this situation.

Watch it.

Just, um – not with the children. Could be a good date movie if you want to have your girlfriend crawl in your lap or your boyfriend hold you tight to keep you safe.

Frozen. . . not completely freezer burned, but not quite thawed, either.

And Now, Movie Reviews!

2010-10-03T20:44:00.001-04:00

Those of you who know me well know that I love movies. Love to watch them, love to love them and hate them. I will watch almost anything, and if I love it, I will watch it more than once with glee!

So, I’ve decided, even if you don’t care, I will give you my opinion of some films that I’ve watched. Some will be high-brow, intelligent, Cannes selections, some will be honourees at the Toronto Film Festival, or even Sundance.

But most, my friends – I will review purely for entertainment value. After all, I am not Siskel, Ebert, Reed or even Jay Stone. But who are we kidding anyway?

Movie reviews are nothing but subjective opinion.

And I can be as opinionated as anyone else.

My first review coming up? FROZEN. . . watching now. . .

Flickr Tags: movies,criticism,opinion,entertainment,reviews

Yesterday, the Universe Pooped On Me.

2010-09-29T18:00:00.001-04:00

First, the dog (read, idiot) went out for his morning run while Peter fetched the paper – wait – the dog fetched, Peter retrieved. But Chip is a Labrador Retriever, so why doesn’t he just get the paper?

Because that idiot dog would rather roll in poop.

How do I find out about it? Ah, the good part.

I'm fresh from bed, dressed in my warmies and thinking about toast and an ice-cold glass of milk when Chip comes up for his morning "OMG it's Joyce it's JOYCE! I worship JOYCE!!”

He runs through my legs as I go to scratch his back. I realize my pants leg is wet and look down. And see a lovely smear of . . .

Green, unidentifiable, poop.

Good. Freakin’. Morning.

I shriek, as is my favourite thing to do first thing in the morning. I chase the dog away, ripping the clothes from my body, shuddering and gasping and trying not to imagine what type of animal that had effectively just marked me.

Friggin’ GROSS!

Chip got a Palmolive and cold-hose bath immediately.

Then, I get to my office downstairs, where my cat has spent the night. Across the top of my desk is a nice little trail of mouse droppings, courtesy of number one and number two.

Sigh. My pets are SO fired.

I just knew it was going to

Flickr Tags: animals,cats,dogs,comedy,funny,pets,nature,life

be one of those days.

It Wasn't What I Thought. . .

2010-09-17T16:50:00.002-04:00

So I walk into the pavillion to unload my wares for a weekend of selling Gold Canyon at the Richmond Fair. Entering the building, I see a group of four people hovering around a stroller. Everyone is oooing and aaaahing over the apparently beautiful child in the stroller. The parents of said child nodded in agreement to every compliment.

I knew I had to go check out the chosen one, to see what the fuss was about. I was just about to go for a peek when one of the parents took her out of the stroller.

I nearly peed myself from laughing when what was revealed was a giant, furry cat.

Nope, not a baby at all. And making it even more perfect was the second cat that was pulled from the stroller.

I should have know, really. I mean, who doesn't take their cats to the fair, right?

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The warmth of a cozy fire…is it really worth all the work?

2010-09-16T23:09:00.001-04:00

There are many things to enjoy as the weather gets cooler. One of the best parts of staying warm during the cooler months is being able to spark a cozy fire in the woodstove.

From the newsprint on my hands to the tangy smell of the sulphur as I light the match and put it to the pile, the anticipation of knowing I will soon be as cozy as a cat in a ray of sunshine makes me work just a little bit faster. Then, a brief prayer for that magical chain of events: match to paper, paper to kindling, kindling to logs, and finally, heat to my cold limbs.

I’ll settle on my giant pillow, waiting for the heat to emanate through the glass door of the stove. The warmth will make my skin tingle, get hot enough to make me wonder why my clothes haven’t caught on fire. If I could, I would purr. A strong gust of heat hits my face as I open the door to add more wood. The crack and snap of the logs, the smoky, comforting smell of the fire, a kitten in my lap doing the purring for me, I am mesmerized by the dancing flames.

However, that blissful state of warm-well-being doesn’t come at a leisurely price. Sure, the cavemen stumbled onto something really great when they discovered fire. However, since the surprise of that first mystic spark, a legacy of painful, tiring work has awaited any soul that longs for the hypnotizing flames of fire.

Once we get through the finding and purchasing, there will be seven or eight face cords of wood in one huge pile in our yard. And unfortunately, that wood ain’t stackin’ itself.

Two and a half hours later, Peter and I have decided there’s enough wood inside to get us through until the snow falls. There are three cords of wood in the laundry room, as well as the following additions to my personal inventory:

A new form of wood pile arachnophobia. How do spiders grow that big, anyway? Do they dine on chipmunks? And why do they choose to say hello when you’ve got their log in your arms? Don’t they know how dangerous that is?
Splintered shins, arms and chin (yes, chin: but my hands are splinter free, thanks to my gloves, and no thanks to that giant spider)
A new hole in my favourite sweatshirt, compliments of last year’s downed cedar. I knew the tree would get even eventually. I’m sure the scar won’t show after a year or so, and the blood will come out, compliments of my Tide Pen.
A back aching with muscles I didn’t even know I had.
Bruises so colourful they look like abstract tattoos.

As I sit and let the heat of the fire soothe away my aches and pains, I won’t think about doing this again in a few months. Maybe by then I’ll have found a magical wood-stacking fairy.

I Got My Exercise Today . . .

2010-09-12T18:51:00.001-04:00

At the Catholic church. Stand up, sit down, kneel, genuflect, repeat with such regularity that you have no idea what the priest is talking about.

The singing. . . where is the passion? I understand that some need ritual, some need the hymns of old to remind them of how the church came to power, why the Catholics know what they are doing.

It makes it hard for us mere mortals to stay awake.

The priest told great stories of the prodigal son. And we all need to hear that one once in a while.

There was a banner hanging above our heads that said “Our Lady of Ransom”. I looked at my husband and asked “Did Mary get kidnapped?” When I politely asked the sweet lady next to me what that meant, she had no idea – and she was wearing one of those little CWL pins (Catholic Women’s League).

I know the Catholic church fulfills the spiritual needs of so many, but I certainly didn’t get it.

Catholics? Anyone? I mean no disrespect. I still think we’re all going to be surprised when we get to the great hereafter (shouldn’t it really be after-here?).

I will happily accept comments on how the Catholic church feeds your soul.

Herding 100 Cats in IKEA . . .No, Really.

2010-09-10T23:34:00.001-04:00

What would we do without YouTube? I mean really, YouTube is the answer for surviving the summer re-run season . . .donchathink?

BuzzNet Tags: animals,cats,kittens,cute,funny,original,YouTube,pets,unique

Date Night Gourmet – Steak, Baked Potatoes and Salad

2010-09-09T22:25:00.001-04:00

Because really – sometimes all you need is a really good steak and potato, right? We threw in some fresh greens and vegetables to make it ‘healthy’ but really, I just couldn’t wait for the steak. Meat and flame, how hard is that?

The drinks? Coronas and ice cold water. The music? Rock and roll goes GREAT with steak.

Does anyone else overload their baked potato? Butter AND sour cream AND salt? Chives too, if we had them. . .

Conversation on steak night is pretty thin. We are too busy being carnivores. But we grunt and give each other a romantic thumbs-up (meaning meat-good) to stay connected during our gourmet meal.

How do you like your steak and baked potato? What’s your favourite cut of beef? We favour the bone-in rib grilling steak.

One of the best movie quotes ever. . .

2010-09-06T22:43:00.001-04:00

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Feminine Hygiene with Ryan. . .Funny Stuff.

2010-08-27T20:53:00.001-04:00

Why is Generation Y so RUDE?

2010-08-26T00:01:00.001-04:00

Okay, that may be a generalization, but when did teenagers get so rude? Yes, I must be that old.

Driving in town, down a one-way street. Three guys, three girls. Skinny, scantily clad, tattooed and smoking. So what?

They were in the middle of the road, so I assumed they wanted to cross. I waved them on - you know – hand motion that indicates they are safe from the hazards of your front bumper?

Should’ve given them the bumper.

One guy gestures for me to go around them. I wave them across.

“B****, go around. We ain’t crossing!!”

Oh.No.He.Did.Not.

I calmly roll down my window and ask “Why are you yelling at me?” I am calling his bluff. It’s easy to yell at a tinted window.

“Cuz, b****, we ain’t crossing. I told you to go around us!”

(So this is what it feels like to have your blood pressure shoot to the top of your skull and out the sunroof.)

“Then get out of the middle of the road.” Notice how I am still rising above?

“F*** YOU! Drive AROUND US you F*B*” By this time, all six of the lost, misunderstood teenagers are yelling profanities at me, but to give the girls credit, they did have the smarts to get out of the middle of the road.

At this point I am picturing all sorts of ways to teach these kids the difference between sidewalk and road, and what belongs where. These lessons all involve Dodge engineering and teenage angst, so just keep yelling, brats (see road rage in any urban dictionary).

But I rose above and drove on, fighting off the red mist at the edges of my vision.

I almost made it to the corner with my halo intact.

I almost turned out of their lives forever; sad and bewildered that the parenting skills of many of the next generation has bred such disrespect. and yet still, my halo intact, not instigating any blood baths.

But before I knew what happened, my brain triggered my finger straight up and out of the sunroof, giving them all the one-fingered salute.

Monkey Death Wish . . . You Will Laugh!

2010-08-25T23:38:00.001-04:00

Indian Pole Gymnastics - My Mouth is Still Hanging Open. . .

2010-08-22T23:00:00.000-04:00

Trying to Change Someone. . . Just Stop.

2010-07-27T17:45:00.001-04:00

“A Secret Scrolls message from Rhonda Byrne
Creator of The Secret

From The Secret Daily Teachings

Trying to change someone is a waste of time. The very thought of changing someone is saying that they are not good enough as they are, and it is soaked with judgment and disapproval. That is not a thought of appreciation or love, and those thoughts will only bring separation between you and that person.

You must look for the good in people to have more of it appear. As you look only for the good things in a person, you will be amazed at what your new focus reveals.

May the joy be with you,

Rhonda Byrne
The Secret... bringing joy to billions “

Jaden Smith - His Father's Son and How.

2010-06-25T18:02:00.000-04:00

Definitely his father's son. . . how does an 11-year-old have such charm and timing? Daddy's gift, I'm guessing.

101 Years Young. . . Leslie Menyasz, My Father-In-Law. . .

2010-06-21T17:52:00.001-04:00

Can I get an amen?

Yes, we celebrated Dr. Leslie Menyasz's 101st birthday on Sunday, June 13th, 2010. In honour of his staying power, I am re-posting his story, that I was lucky enough to write and get published just more than a year ago in our local paper.

“June 13^th, 1909. That day was just a little more than 100 years ago. That was also the day my husband’s father was born in Hungary.

On Saturday June 13^th, 2009 we celebrated Dr. Laszlo Joseph Menyasz’s 100^th birthday. Even writing it looks surreal. One hundred years is a long time to view life and the world around you. My father-in-law Leslie still looks at his world through smiling eyes. I wish I could climb in his head and see things as he sees them, as only a man who has lived for one century can see this world.

1909. The Austria-Hungary-Serbia Pig War had just ended, although it would ultimately be one of the causes of World War I. Instant coffee was invented. Lifesavers, neon lamps and talking motion pictures had not been invented yet. A blouse cost 45 cents.

And here’s my father-in-law, learning to live. Learning to walk, talk and survive. A little baby boy that had no idea what he would learn, see and survive in his amazing life.

Leslie was a very smart young man who studied to become an ear, nose and throat doctor. His choice of profession would not only heal others, but it would eventually prove to be a skill so valuable it would save his own life.

Dr. Menyasz joined the armed forces in Hungary to serve as a doctor during World War II. He was taken prisoner in Yugoslavia by the Russians and was taken to an interment camp. A prisoner of war, his medical skill may be all that saved his life. The Russians found him valuable enough to keep alive, although he suffered the starvation and horrible conditions that came with those camps during WWII.

In 1949 Leslie met and married Kathleen. In 1952, their only child Peter was born. Dr. Menyasz had set up a nice practice in Budapest and family life was happy.

At the end of WWII, the Russians liberated Hungary. It was soon apparent that liberation was really domination under tight communist rule. Led by a group of students in 1956, a spontaneous Hungarian Revolution ensued. Freedom fighters fought hard, but Russian tanks fought harder.

The Menyasz family was no longer safe. There was no choice but to flee Hungary and start life over again.

In 1956, Dr. Laszlo Menyasz took his wife and sedated child with nothing but the clothes on their backs and fled Hungary. The stories Leslie used to tell are amazing. The survival. The fear, the sheer determination to make a better life for his small family.

They landed in Halifax, Nova Scotia, like so many other immigrants that year. The Menyasz family settled in Saskatchewan and began their lives over again. Dr. Menyasz updated his medical education to start a practice in Canada, and built a very successful practice that he later moved (with his family!) to Abbotsford, BC.

Of course, Peter grew into an amazing young man (I’m totally objective).

And now, here we are, celebrating Leslie’s 100^th birthday. With family, with friends, and with others who fled Hungary during those turbulent times. And still we learn more from them.

It’s impossible to cover everything Leslie has seen through the length of his years. But it does astound me. A century of life, and he’s still doing great. Now, if only I could decipher what his sweet smile really means. . . Happy 100^th birthday, Leslie!”

And happy 101st birthday Leslie!

Flickr Tags: aging,Hungary,family,100 years old,immigrant,centurian

Too Good Not to Share. . .

2010-05-31T17:52:00.001-04:00

“A Secret Scrolls message from Rhonda Byrne
Creator of The Secret

From The Secret Daily Teachings

Pure love has no conditions or boundaries. Love does not restrain itself or hold back. Love gives all the time and doesn't ask for anything in return. Love is a continuous flow without any limits. And all of this is inside you.

May the joy be with you,

Rhonda Byrne
The Secret... bringing joy to billions”

Yup, that’s good stuff, no matter what you believe.

Canadian and U.S. Holidays – What’s a Girl To Do?

2010-05-31T11:21:00.001-04:00

So I live in Canada. And even if I’m not Canadian by birth, I’ve lived here long enough to feel Canadian.

I celebrate Canadian holidays, which, for the most part, are the same as those in my motherland, the U.S.A.

Being a ‘mercan, born and bred, I feel I have the right to celebrate the holidays of my homeland, right?

Really, it’s not much of a stretch. Canada celebrated Victoria day, or the May-2-4 weekend, as it’s commonly called here. It was last weekend.

Today is Memorial Day in the U.S. But I’m not living there. So really, I guess I shouldn’t celebrate, right? It’s a normal workday here. . .

But I think I will take the day off anyway. Because when it comes time for me to take my oath of Canadian citizenship, I want to keep my U.S. rights as well.

And I certainly don’t want to take the change that I will lose my U.S. citizenship because I didn’t follow their holiday traditions.

Yup, that settles it. X-Box 360 anyone?

Flickr Tags: U.S. holidays,canadian holidays,Memorial Day

Quebec Fires – Smoke Settles Over the Ottawa Valley

2010-05-31T10:55:00.001-04:00

Please keep Quebec in your prayers for rain and safety for the firefighters and those face losing their homes! Also that the smoke clears from the Valley soon . . .

Flickr Tags: quebecfires,fire,quebec,ottawacitizen,smoke,smoky

Gallery: Quebec Forest Fires

2010-05-31T10:49:00.000-04:00

Gallery: Quebec forest fires

This is why my house smells like a backyard barbecue. The smoke has drifted and the whole of the Ottawa Valley is covered in smoke. It's so thick here I actually called the fire department, who told me the smoke is from these fires in Quebec. Please send some prayers for the firefighters and people that are in danger of losing their homes. We need RAIN - like NOW!

Crystal Bowersox: The Mountain (American Idol Runner-Up)

2010-05-27T20:01:00.001-04:00

How she didn't win is beyond me - even though I like Lee Dewyze and am not sad that he won - Crystal Bowersox ROCKS. I will so buy her album. . . watch and enjoy.

Nike- Write the Future – Football (Futbol), Soccer – AWESOME Video

2010-05-22T15:05:00.001-04:00

I admit I wouldn’t know much about these guys if it weren’t for Peter’s passion for it. However, after several years, I can recognize the beauty of the game, and many of its players. . . heee! Anyway – this is a great video – watch!

Crystal & Lee - "Falling Slowly" in American Idol Top 4

2010-05-17T17:54:00.000-04:00

Just two reasons why Idol is the best season ever. . .

Carol Burnett and Robin Williams, The Funeral. . .

2010-05-14T21:18:00.001-04:00

I’ve decided, officially, in my ripe middle-age, that Carol Burnett is my favourite comedian. . . I will be sharing many moments such as these below. . .

LiveJournal Tags: laughter,carol burnett,robin williams,you tube,funny,video,carol burnett show,classic television

My Buddy Josh and the Black Bear Rescue

2010-05-04T22:59:00.001-04:00

Yes, I know one of the firefighters in this video about the rescued black bear in Oxnard. So that means. . . I’m like – one degree from bears. . . but seriously – firefighters rescuing bears – gotta love it. Smokey the Bear thanks you, Josh!

Too Good Not to Share the Knowledge. . .

2010-05-03T16:28:00.001-04:00

“A Secret Scrolls message from Rhonda Byrne
Creator of The Secret

From The Secret Daily Teachings

Look for the gifts in everything, especially when you are facing what appears to be a negative situation. Everything that we attract causes us to grow, which means that ultimately everything is for our own good.

Adjusting to a new path and a new direction will require new qualities and strengths, and these qualities are always exactly what we need to acquire in order to accomplish the great things ahead in our life.

May the joy be with you,

Rhonda Byrne
The Secret... bringing joy to billions “

http://www.thesecret.tv

Holy Wow, Aging Has Finally Caught Me!

2010-04-23T17:47:00.001-04:00

Okay – so I’m going to be 45 this year. Forty-freakin’-five.

A couple of weeks ago, I was primping in front of the mirror when a noticeably lighter hair popped up and said hello. Blonde? Nope. Gray. Gray gray gray.

My first reaction? Cool! I’ve finally earned these two badges of honour. Yes, only two, but obviously they’ve talked and have decided to colonize.

I stepped back. Then I stepped closer to the mirror. I tried to separate the grays from the herd of healthy brunette strands but they are wily little creatures. I knew not to pluck them. Someone told me once that if you pluck your gray hairs, the souls of the gray hairs to come get really angry and decide to move in to your scalp earlier, and in massive replacement numbers. So, no plucking.

But how did I feel about these hairs? I mean really, how do we feel when we notice our first gray hair?

One of my namesakes, Cousin Joy, had a beautiful head of amazing silver hair – just shiny and bountiful and a really striking colour – not gray or washed out – but singing with silver, you know what I mean? Her silver hair came in when she was younger, but it arrived on her head with a red carpet and some paparazzi for all to see and pay attention to those beautiful silver locks.

Nope. Don’t think that’s me.

I didn’t cover the gray – I actually went straight to my husband and said “Look what you’ve done to me!”

He then pointed to his sexily silvered temples and said “Would you care to explain how YOU did all this, then?”

Yes, I kissed him soundly and scampered out of the room before I started confessing.

So – gray hair. That was the beginning. Now I look down and I see my mom’s hands when she was my age. I can see where my laugh lines are laying their blueprints, and suddenly there’s a sparse moustache to contend with. Sigh. My muscles hurt when I do silly things. I can actually injure my back while petting the cat.

But here’s what I think about all this aging stuff (today anyway). We all seem to get better looking as we age – up to a point when you start resembling a great big grown-up, wrinkled baby – but more importantly - WE ALL AGE!

Go ahead and spend thousands on pretending to stop your aging – you could start as early as 23 like Heidi Montag – the idiot who ruined her already pretty face and body. IDIOT!

Or, be like me – use the stuff that keeps you healthy and feeling good. Tell yourself that your concealer is really working and that your pores are still as tiny as a baby’s. Put a little more colour in your hair and a little more lotion on your hands – and tell yourself that age is just a state of mind . . .

Keep repeating until you believe it.

Then, when you step away from the mirror, don’t move to fast or you might hurt your aging back.

If that doesn’t work – start hanging out with really old people and you will feel like that young hot thing that you still are. . . it’s just that you’ve been around the wine cellar once or twice, youknowwhatImean?

Italian Espresso Roasting, California Style

2010-04-15T23:11:00.001-04:00

I’d like to introduce you to Ellie.

Ellie is 51 and roasts her own E-Bay bought coffee beans in her back yard.

Okay, that may not sound like too much excitement, but a lucky (I’m sure – chosen - even) few were privy to her secrets and the tools of her trade. I will start by using the one sentence that Ellie started the whole process with as she took us to her back yard picnic table. “This is a simple process.” Remember that.

First, Ellie shows us a 1950’s caramel corn maker, with an agitator at the bottom to keep things moving. She plugs in a digital thermometer and tells us she’s just going to warm things up a bit.

Next, she drops raw coffee beans (no taste, no smell that I can discern) into the contraption until the agitator starts moving back wards. She pulls out about a dozen beans, because the agitator shows you how many beans to put in by its movement. Huh?

Ellie then puts the lid on her home-made roaster and tells us that the beans will go through a series of smells, none of them pleasant. She also tells us that we are waiting to hear the first crack of the beans as they are roasting. Simple? What?

Ellie explained that as the beans heat, they crack (it sounds like popcorn), but this is only the first crack. And Ellie is right; the beans smell like they are burning. Not a nice aroma at all. In fact, based on the smell, I could give up coffee completely.

Now that the first crack and three or four acrid smells have assaulted our nostrils, Ellie says we are waiting for the second crack of the beans, which is, by the way, a very distinctive sound that is quite different from the first crack.

I ask why these husk like things are flying all over. Ellie shows us the (simple) holes she’s drilled into her roasting machine, so the chaff flies out. The holes are bigger than the chaff, so it can easily separate itself from the beans.

I don’t know about you, but I think chaff flying out of any size hole sounds like a bad thing, and about this time, I think I have landed in the Ozarks at a distillery of one of my Hatfield ancestors.

The second crack has come and gone (not that I heard anything) and now our nostrils are being assailed with an amazing aroma that makes my brain scream ‘give me coffee NOW!’

After the beans have been cooled with a shop-vac colander contraption, the beans are ready. They find their way to the grinder, to the percolator, to my cup. And Ellie, here’s to you, for one of the best cups of coffee I have ever tasted. But girl, that process is anything but simple.

From 1/3/2007

The Magic of the Moon

2010-04-14T21:08:00.001-04:00

(9/2006)

The other night I heard a pack of wolves in the woods behind us start their woeful howling. It was a bit spooky sounding. Even the crickets and frogs stopped to listen to their distant cry. I checked to make sure I had a good stash of silver and fell asleep thinking about the magic of the moon.

The full effects of the moon can only be felt in a quiet spot far from city lights. The stars only come out in the country where they know they’ll be appreciated. They only remove themselves from the canvas to take a back seat to the moon's allure. Anyone in Lanark County can tell you of a few hundred perfect spots to see the night sky as it’s meant to be seen.

Let's take a walk in the moonlight. If the right person says it to you, your knees get weak at the prospect of a magical night. You’ll be positively a-twitter with the possibilities. You'll link fingers and look at each other, and you won't believe how beautiful your date is. There's something about the night that makes you know it's time for the first kiss.

Would the moment be the same without the moon?

You wish you remembered what your date looks like and realize what a stupid idea it was to wander in the blind dark with a person you barely know. You both laugh it off when you almost run into a tree. You're going in for that magical first kiss and get a clumsy mouth full of the tree trunk you thought he was leaning against. He's already face down in the grass because he thought you were just little bit to the left. You'd both be laughing if not for your splinters and his broken nose. No moon, no second date.

And why does a full moon create werewolves? Some believe that Hollywood perpetuated the full-moon thing. Apparently real werewolves change voluntarily. I read it on the Internet, so it must be true. If they can change on a whim, why not save the nasty transformation for a more practical time -- say, when the tax auditor shows up?

Let’s take the ‘creepy’ moon away from Hollywood. Let's tell the were-people that they are no longer allowed to use our magical moon as an excuse for their bad behaviour. Let’s choose to believe that fireflies are really faeries sent to twitter across your path with enchanted dust ensuring sweet dreams for the night to come.

There’s a little bit of Swiss cheese in that moon for anyone who cares to believe it exists. That man is there, writing down all our dreams as they float past him every night. There are magical moonlight walks, dances, kisses and incredible memories that can only be made when that light shines for us. It’s mystical and wondrous and, if we're lucky, it will keep shining for us for generations to come, spreading a little moon dust magic on the way.

Weights and Treadmills and Personal Trainers, Oh My!

2010-04-12T20:56:00.001-04:00

(A re-post of a favourite of mine. Thanks for the indulgence.)

When I was in my twenties, the gym was a place to see and be seen. Sure, we went to work out, but at the time, it was more about how cute the boys looked in their muscle shirts, and how colour coordinated we were in our gym attire.

Now, my metabolism is on permanent vacation, and my body is telling me that it’s quite happy to lead the sedentary lifestyle. My mind is slightly mutinous and tends to side with my body, telling me that laying around isn’t such a bad thing, that it helps with cell regeneration and stuff.

However tempting that may sound, if I don’t fight the laziness, the ease of sinking into that perfect corner of the comfy couch, I’ll soon become a part of the furniture and Peter will never find me again, until I give him clues with general demands to bring me an iced cap from Timmy’s before Paradise Falls comes on.

And so I joined the gym. The day I signed away a year of my life I went in all proud and strong and a little too loud “I want to join the gym!” I think I was loud enough to squelch the inner screaming of my muscles, cringing in fear. I think I startled the girl behind the desk.

After getting my card, I asked for a training session and was told that I could meet with a trainer the following Thursday. I decided to use the treadmill until then, because all of the other machines look like bionic octopi or something. At the end of my 45 minutes, I thought “I can do this, it’s not so bad.” I kept visiting the treadmill until my appointment, thinking I was going to show that trainer, after I’d built up a week’s worth of cardio.

And that’s where it all went horribly, scarily wrong.

She is way too cute and perky. Her smile lights up the room, and she is as bouncy and energetic as a 6-month-old pup. I loved her and hated her on sight, and kind of wanted to rub her belly. But mostly, I hoped I could catch some of her vibe, so I could build up some excitement for the hell she was about to put me through.

And she did her best, smiling the whole time. Hell started with the legs, then went to the arms, the back, the abs, and, Lord help me, there’s a machine that helped me do my very first pull up. She ADDED it to my routine because she was so proud of me.

I felt like I kept up pretty well. I only sat the wrong direction on two machines, because her way just didn’t make sense. When I fight a bionic octopus, I want to be able to face it. The trainer won. I did it her way. And the octopus won.

I’ve got to go change now. I’ve got a harpoon and some chum, and a bionic octopus to conquer.

Daily Travels and Things I Saw

2010-04-08T20:45:00.001-04:00

Seriously, I know our world isn’t quite this sad. Although both scenes depicted images that could be interpreted as distasteful, sacrilegious and possibly disrespectful, I leave it to you to decide.

Me? I thought totally hilarious on both counts. Gotta love the creativity of the human race.

Totally dig this ride. You can’t see the detail – and although the windows are scary black, as in – can’t-see-inside-so-there-might-actually-BE-a-body-in-there black, I’m pretty sure this is a non-servicing Hearse. The center of the hub caps sport some pretty sweet skulls that I am sure would sparkle in the sun had it not been hidden behind the clouds. I hope I get to see this Hearse when the owner has finished his vision. I would call Pimp My Ride for this bad boy – oh yes I would.

Now seriously – how can you NOT laugh at this? On the side of an overpass in Smiths Falls. Hey, we know who will prevail in the end, but it’s nice to know someone is pulling for the pigeons.

People are Funny

2010-04-06T20:59:00.001-04:00

You know easy it is to get to road rage, right? You don’t have to own a particularly nasty temper or a short fuse – you just have to, oh – I don’t know. . . drive a car. . . eventually, it will happen.

Say you’re driving on a country road, no cars anywhere. There’s a utility truck pulled off the side of the road about 50 yards ahead and a stoplight about 20 yards past him. All told, a pretty nice drive.

Until the utility truck decides he needs to get ahead of me at that red light and whips a u-turn to shoot in front of me and slam on his brakes. My purse flies off the seat and I curse in Disney language.

Since I am somewhat polite, I don’t do the clichéd finger-flipping and name calling and honking. Instead I shake my head while he watches me in his side mirror. I hope I am channelling the what-on-earth-did-that-get-you-buddy-I-am-so-disappointed-and-your-momma-would-be-too look. I continue to shake my head as he lumbers forward at the green light. And you know he’s lumbering, because really, what good would it do for it to be a fast truck that was worried about getting behind a little ol’ Dodge?

Oh, and I might add that I could understand his urgency if there were a pile of cars behind me. Nobody can be blamed for wanting to beat a long line of traffic. But NO, there was no other traffic. Of course not.

So in my head, I am running the litany of complaints about general incompetence.

After several miles the road became two-lanes. There was a car in front of me. I was parallel to utility man. The light, about 50 yards away, was about to turn yellow.

Oh yes, I took my chance.

Butted right in front of him like he did to me and coasted to a smooth stop in front of him at the red light.

I see hand gestures in my rear-view mirror and know what he’s saying, though I don’t think it’s sign language.

And it made me laugh. He saw me laugh in the mirror, and it made him laugh.

I stuck my hand out the window and gave him the finger. Okay, not really – I gave him a thumbs up. He returned with a thumbs up as well, knowing I’d technically won that little round of road sarcasm.

If only we could take all of life’s little annoyances and turn them into laughter.

Date Night Gourmet – CHICKEN PAPRIKASH WITH NOKEDLI

2010-04-05T17:48:00.001-04:00

Peter and I have decided we’re going to have a ‘gourmet’ night once a week. Now this doesn’t mean we’re trying to cook our way through Bon Appétit or anything snobby like that, but I did discover something about my husband that I didn’t know.

Peter and I were talking about cooking Hungarian Paprika chicken for dinner, and we went looking for the recipe in our recipe cupboard.

Do any of you have a cupboard, or a drawer, or a folder where you put all your recipes? The ones you tear from magazines or the newspaper – with those good intentions of trying them out some day?

Yes, ours is a cupboard. And in this cupboard is a blue binder. In this binder are about 200 pages of college-ruled notebook paper. On on this notepaper, front and back, painstakingly printed in efficient handwriting are recipes. Recipes for all kinds of meals, from all sort of places. Recipes that are alphabetized and cross-indexed and organized.

How had I been married to this guy for all these years and have never opened that binder? How did I not know that he’d gone through the trouble of collecting all these recipes?

Truthfully, this binder makes my Philly Cream Cheese box top recipes look rather pathetic.

When I asked Peter about the binder, he didn’t think it was such a big deal – but I did. He’d written all these recipes down after collecting them. He’d done it when he lived in Vancouver more than 20 years ago. He’d prepared a few recipes housed in this binder, but most were still untested.

And that’s when we decided. Time to test some recipes. And after we test them, we’ll share them with you.

Maybe you’d like to cook with your favourite person or people. The best part – besides the so-far-so-good gastrointestinal pleasure, is that Peter and I are having fun.

We’re not spending the money going out to eat. We’re buying more whole foods and such, which is better eating for all involved, and we’re connecting as only best friends can. With music, laughter and a shared passion for yummy food.

Below is the recipe for Hungarian Paprika Chicken. Try it and let us know how you like it!

Our recipe was prepared while we sipped red wine and listened to a Beatles retrospective on Chez 106. In the news that day was the guy on the plane with the bomb in his underwear.

That’s as snobby as we get.

CHICKEN PAPRIKASH WITH NOKEDLI (Worth every minute it took to make it – triple yummm score.)

Ingredients Needed (chicken):

6 whole chicken breasts
4 Tbsp butter
16 small white onions
1 cup chopped onions
1 Tbsp Hungarian Paprika
8 small carrots
2 cans (10.75 oz) chicken broth
salt
1/3 cup flour
1/2 cup dry white wine
2 cups sour cream
parsley

Ingredients Needed (nokedli):

2 3/4 cups flour
3 eggs
2 tbsp butter
1 cup water

Wash chicken; dry on paper towels. Cut each breast in half. brown chicken, 1/2 at a time in 2 tbsp butter in large skillet with tight-fitting cover. turning to brown well. Takes about 20 minutes in all. With tongs, lift out chicken as it browns.
Add 2 tbsp butter in same skillet, add whole and chopped onions with 1 Tbsp paprika until lightly browned. Cut carrots diagonally in 1 1/2” pieces. Add carrots to onions, sauté for 2 minutes, stir in undiluted chicken broth and 2 Tsp salt.
Arrange chicken in skillet in single layer, bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer covered for 45 minutes.
Once chicken is tender, remove from skillet and place on a platter, keeping it covered and warm in a 300 degrees oven while you make the Nokedli and gravy.
PREPARE NOKEDLI: In a large bowl – combine 2 3/4 cups flour, eggs, 1 tsp salt and 1 cup water. Beat with a spoon until smooth.
Boil 2 quarts of water with 2 teaspoons of salt (for boiling of Nokedli).
Using a moistened spatula, spread dough over the surface. Holding the spatula over the water, use a table knife to scrape off small portions of the dough into the boiling water. Cook 1 – 4 at a time until firm. When they are finished they rise to the top. Use a slotted spoon to remove. Keep them warm and add a small amount of butter. Repeat this process until you have all Nokedli (dumplings, really) made.
GRAVY: In a small bowl mix remaining flour with wine until smooth. Add to skillet, stir all liquid together while bringing to a boil. Reduce heat, simmer 2 minutes
Slowly add sour cream, heat gently for 1 minute.
Remove platter of chicken from oven. Add Nokedli and pour gravy over all to taste. Add parsley for garnish. Bring extra gravy to the table. Serves 6.
You don’t want to know the nutritional contents. Really.

Too Good Not to Share: From The Secret Daily Teachings

2010-04-05T17:15:00.001-04:00

“Remember, if you are criticizing, you are not being grateful. If you are blaming, you are not being grateful. If you are complaining, you are not being grateful. If you are feeling tension, you are not being grateful. If you are rushing, you are not being grateful. If you are in a bad mood, you are not being grateful.

Gratitude can transform your life. Are you allowing minor things to get in the way of your transformation and the life you deserve?

May the joy be with you.”

A Secret Scrolls message from Rhonda Byrne
Creator of The Secret

The Joys of People Watching

2010-03-30T22:26:00.001-04:00

Have you ever found yourself getting caught up in watching people? Maybe you wonder what they’re thinking, what their lives are like, where they’re going and more importantly, why they’re dressed the way they are?

Most of you are saying…um…NO. Well, I love watching people. I blame it on my Mom. When we would go out for dinner and there was an inevitable wait, she would entertain us kids by pointing at a couple outside the window and asking “What do you suppose they are talking about out there?” And that’s how my people watching got started.

The stories we would create would have us laughing through the whole meal as our unsuspecting thespians carried on their business, which was, inevitably, not even close to the stories we painted for them.

In order to fully appreciate wandering humans, I must be out in public with nothing to do. Like waiting for someone to finish errands while you wait in the car.

Nobody knows I’m just sitting here in my car…watching them. People scurry through the parking lot, pretty much oblivious to everything except what’s on their shopping list. At least, that’s the safe thing to think.

I see plenty of friends wandering in and out of the store. I’m too lazy to get out and say hello, so instead I just wonder how they’re doing and make a quick mental list of people I need to catch up with. Beyond that, it’s more fun to pretend what strangers are thinking when they walk by.

Oh goodie, there’s a woman in her late fifties, wearing bright orange spandex pants and a halter top under her parka. Here’s what she’s might be thinking: “I’d better hurry or I’ll be late for my Vegas Revue. Must get more mascara and pasties, and check on my pole dancing class.”

See how easy it is? That’s how it works.

There’s a lovely young man with a bouquet of flowers leaving the store. He wipes his brow and is talking to himself. Is he rehearsing an apology? A proposal? A request for a first date? The possibilities are endless, but I settle on the apology. It’s the middle of the day, after all. He probably stayed out too late playing poker, and really – what guy buys his woman flowers in the middle of the day for no reason at all?

There’s a harried father with two toddlers, one already pointing at the store, no doubt asking if she can hang out in the cereal or toy aisle. He’s contemplating it, but he’s also probably thinking his daughter will tell his wife when they get home, and that won’t be pretty. He pulls out the shopping list before he heads in through the noiseless sliding doors. He squares his shoulders like a man going off to war. His momma would be proud.

Sometimes, watching people is so entertaining that I’m almost disappointed when make-believe time is over. I didn’t even have a chance to think about the teenage couple holding hands, the gentleman that comes out with loads of soda cans, or the elderly lady getting out of the taxi.

The next time you’re waiting anywhere, make up your own story about the strangers walking by. Don’t be mean and judgemental, be creative. Strangers, if they notice you at all, will be confused by the mysterious smile on your face…and that will be amusement enough.

Staying Young Has Nothing To Do With Miracle Creams

2010-03-29T19:46:00.001-04:00

I think I’ve found the secret to staying young. And I don’t think it has much to do with lotions, potions, make up or plastic surgery.

Not long ago, I was near a Toys R Us. I was going in just to look, really, and possibly to pick up a gift for my nephew and niece in California. However, about thirty seconds after I walked through the door, I forgot all my dear little what’s-their-names and what child-like delight they would show at whatever gift I picked for them.

My eyes were drawn in all directions at once, which, let me tell you, causes a ridiculous eye strain. The colours were so bright, inviting you to touch, to want. The glitter and shine of the pinks and purples of the ‘girlie’ toys, the masculine blacks, reds and blues of the ‘boy’ toys all made me realize one thing.

It stinks to be a grown up.

I’d like to know who made the rules that say we’re not allowed to play with toys, not allowed to pretend after a certain age. Are you thinking “Nobody told me I couldn’t play with toys anymore…”?

Exactly. Somehow, we let an interest in the opposite sex take away our desire for the very things that made us laugh, stretched our imaginations, allowed incredible fantasies and made us forget about anything that made us sad as children.

Why don’t we do that now? For some reason, we adults change from toys to dates, to bars, to marriage, children, jobs, careers, other people…whatever. Simply said, we grow up.

Who makes the rules on when it’s time to grow up, anyway? Who says you can’t be an adult and still enjoy total reality abandonment like a child does? Like your children do?

Put down your cell phone, PDA, laptop, wallet, glass, newspaper and dinner preparations. Put them all down. Go to your child’s room, the attic or a toy store. Find a toy you used to love when you were a child. Smile at it and remember.

Remember what it was like to pick up your Barbies and immediately fall into their world. Find Ken and make it happen, ladies. Men, go find a Hot Wheels track, or build a fort under the dining room table. Make a tent out of your bed sheets and play doctor with your wife. Grab the pots and pans from the bottom drawers. Raise that wooden spoon and bring back the Racket Band that you used to love when you were in diapers.

Life is meant to be fun, to be enjoyed. Sure, there are responsibilities to be handled on a daily basis. But if we handle them, and then forget them for awhile while we play with the Easy Bake Oven or the Erector Sets….what’s the harm? Find a refrigerator box and climb in. It’s your world. Have fun with it.

Watch children for examples. They’ve got it down to an effortless

science. And, me – I’m working really hard on this and should be an expert in no time.

LiveJournal Tags: humour,life,children,toys,playing,growing old,childish,family,adult,stress busting,laughter,young at heart,jkm asylum,joyce menyasz

Everything is Good . . .You Just Have to Look . . .

2010-02-09T11:40:00.001-05:00

From The Secret Daily Teachings

“Good is underneath every single thing that appears to be negative. If we can know that good is all there is, including in a negative situation, then we will see a negative situation transform into all good. Most people keep the good away from themselves because they label something as bad, and then, of course, that becomes their reality. But there is no bad in the Universe; it is just our inability to see things clearly from the bigger perspective.

Peace comes from knowing that good is all that exists.”

Gratitude . . .in all ways on all days.

2010-02-02T14:15:00.001-05:00

From The Secret Daily Teachings

“There are two words that, when spoken, have the most unfathomable power to completely change your life. Two words that, when they pass your lips, will be the cause of bringing absolute joy and happiness to you. Two words that will create miracles in your life, wipe out negativity, and bring you abundance in all things. Two words that, when uttered and sincerely felt, will summon all the forces in the Universe to move all things for you.

There are just two words standing between you, happiness, and the life of your dreams . . .

THANK YOU.”

The Highway at 4 p.m. on a Lovely Winter’s Afternoon. . .

2010-01-24T15:17:00.001-05:00

My friend Robin posted a picture of Shaver Lake in California during its winter splendour. I miss Shaver . . .where you could leave the snow behind after playing for a while. . . here is what some days in winter can be like in Lanark County, Ontario.

Bet it looks a little different from when some of you visited, right?

The Best $9.99 I’ve Spent in A While . . .

2010-01-23T19:11:00.001-05:00

In a bargain bin at Giant Tiger. . . 3 Streisand movies -

The Mirror Has Two Faces

The Way We Were

The Prince of Tides

Wonderful movies, all three. . . opinions?

Of course, looking at the graphics, I wonder- is Barbra’s good side her left side?

Wick and the Laser

2010-01-22T18:21:00.001-05:00

Love our kitty cat . . .cats are so funny with these lights - wonder why they think they will eventually catch it?

Future Designer laptop - ROLLTOP //Diploma Thesis//

2010-01-22T15:20:00.001-05:00

Holy Technology, Batman! Where do I get one, and how long do I have to save before I can afford it?!

From: Your Forces and How To Use Them

2010-01-11T19:43:00.001-05:00

“(One) of the principal reason why so many fail to get what they want it because they do not definitely know what they want, or because they change their wants almost every day.

“Know what you want and continue to want it. You will get it if you combine desire with faith. The power of desire when combined with faith becomes invincible.”

CHRISTIAN D. LARSON (1874-1954)

Jell-O Enrichment for Squirrel Monkeys at the Bronx Zoo

2010-01-03T16:57:00.001-05:00

Seriously, how cute is this?

Achmed the Dead Terrorist with Jeff Dunham

2009-12-23T22:31:00.001-05:00

Merry Christmas My Friends!

2009-12-21T23:16:00.002-05:00

Yeah? Well Maybe I DON'T Want to Think Anymore. Ever Think of THAT?

2009-12-20T11:30:00.002-05:00

Daily Horoscope: December 20, 2009
Much of your thinking is going on at a very deep level today and you may be rather surprised with some of the results. It's no the best day to try to get folks to make any big changes.
Mood: Thoughtful

For My Man

2009-12-16T23:56:00.004-05:00

Funny Horse Pictures Forward this Picture

Merry with Laughter

2009-12-16T23:53:00.001-05:00

Funny Cartoon Pictures, Funny Christmas Pictures | Forward this Picture

Today's Horrorscope

2009-12-16T12:07:00.001-05:00

GASP! I must be careful today!

December 16, 2009
Here's your Tarot Reading for today, Joyce:
Love Touchstone Career

The Judgement The Devil The Lovers

Today | This Week
A day of unruly, heady passion is in store for you today, Joyce. It's difficult to remain unmoved when the Devil's calling the shots, dragging wise Judgment into a madcap dance that leave you in reckless mood. Your intensity in all your dealings with others has a magnetic effect on those around you. Everyone loves you! In the professional sphere, the Lovers put you in a position of weakness and uncertainty, making you vulnerable to certain unscrupulous people who may want to take advantage. Don't trust the Devil and his consorts. They will try to mislead you with all sorts of tricks and schemes. Don't fall for smooth talkers and people who stick their nose a little too far into your business. You would be well advised to shut the door on those who might profit from your naivety through their powers of seduction...
What days will you get luck in love, work, and more?

G'Nite!

2009-12-13T23:25:00.001-05:00

Happy Sunday night, everone. Sleep well, and I hope you all have an amazing week with ZERO holiday stress!

Breaking the Chains

2009-12-12T22:05:00.002-05:00

Be proud of me, people.

I have busted the chains of addiction! I have deleted all the Facebook hoopla in Farmville, Cafe World and Fishville! Ha! I can't take the pressure of the dead fish or dead crops. It's just not fiscally responsible!

Yes, now I can start a support group too, if anyone cares to join.

Be strong! Be free! Just say NO to Farmville and Zynga Games!

Beauty In Your Life

2009-12-12T22:00:00.001-05:00

"Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy."
-Anne Frank, (1929-1945)
Diary of a Young Girl

Sunday Night – Wrappin’ Up. . .

2009-10-18T21:45:00.001-04:00

I curse Facebook games.

I love October and the anticipation of Halloween parties and dressing up. Can’t wait to be ‘my thang’ this Halloween, and Peter’s will be great too. Heeee!

Guilty pleasure (among many) The Hills – Lawd, can you believe the previews for ‘this season on the Hills’? Oh, that Justin Bobby. Bad, bad JB.

Coconut shrimp and Asian crunch salad for dinner in front of the fire while watching Coronation Street.

Writing . . .received my very first PAID freelance writing job!

Really, it doesn’t get better than that – so I’ll just stop here.

The History of Jack O' Lanterns - History.com

2009-10-07T22:45:00.001-04:00

From History.com

“Pumpkin carving is a popular part of modern America's Halloween celebration. Come October, pumpkins can be found everywhere in the country from doorsteps to dinner tables. Despite the widespread carving that goes on in this country every autumn, few Americans really know why or when the jack o'lantern tradition began. Or, for that matter, whether the pumpkin is a fruit or a vegetable. Read on to find out!

People have been making jack o'lanterns at Halloween for centuries. The practice originated from an Irish myth about a man nicknamed "Stingy Jack." According to the story, Stingy Jack invited the Devil to have a drink with him. True to his name, Stingy Jack didn't want to pay for his drink, so he convinced the Devil to turn himself into a coin that Jack could use to buy their drinks. Once the Devil did so, Jack decided to keep the money and put it into his pocket next to a silver cross, which prevented the Devil from changing back into his original form. Jack eventually freed the Devil, under the condition that he would not bother Jack for one year and that, should Jack die, he would not claim his soul. The next year, Jack again tricked the Devil into climbing into a tree to pick a piece of fruit. While he was up in the tree, Jack carved a sign of the cross into the tree's bark so that the Devil could not come down until the Devil promised Jack not to bother him for ten more years.

Soon after, Jack died. As the legend goes, God would not allow such an unsavory figure into heaven. The Devil, upset by the trick Jack had played on him and keeping his word not to claim his soul, would not allow Jack into hell. He sent Jack off into the dark night with only a burning coal to light his way. Jack put the coal into a carved-out turnip and has been roaming the Earth with ever since. The Irish began to refer to this ghostly figure as "Jack of the Lantern," and then, simply "Jack O'Lantern."

In Ireland and Scotland, people began to make their own versions of Jack's lanterns by carving scary faces into turnips or potatoes and placing them into windows or near doors to frighten away Stingy Jack and other wandering evil spirits. In England, large beets are used. Immigrants from these countries brought the jack o'lantern tradition with them when they came to the United States. They soon found that pumpkins, a fruit native to America, make perfect jack o'lanterns.”

Coming Soon. . . .

2009-10-02T11:59:00.001-04:00

joycekristine.com

All about writing. My writing, my books, my ideas.

Stay tuned.

Why Can’t Every Day Be Like This?

2009-10-02T11:58:00.001-04:00

Understand that I don’t really believe all this hooey – I believe I have a destiny and that God has a plan. But who’s to say He doesn’t speak through this kind of thing sometimes? This one is pretty positive – and I want all my days to be like this! Who’s with me?

The Devil
The Sun
The Wheel of Fortune

Today | This Week

The rays of the Sun and the Devil's flames are bringing plenty of heat your way today, dear Joyce. There's passion in the air. It's a time of intense feelings, passionate declarations, and tender and sensual encounters. There's not a cloud in the sky to darken these moments of love and intimacy that you'll be sharing with your loved ones. So enjoy it while you can! In your working life, your lively spirit and charisma prove to be infallible weapons as you march along the road to success. There's no stopping you with the Sun and the Wheel of Fortune on your side! You've got an answer to everything, you take an interest in everything and take effective action in every area that has an impact on your work, directly or indirectly. So it's the ideal moment to go for that pay rise or promotion. Go for it!

Very Interesting. . .

2009-10-01T22:06:00.001-04:00

Your horoscope for October 1, 2009

Maintain a positive attitude, Joyce, and things will naturally flow your way. Tell a few jokes and keep things light and energetic. You will find that you can multi-task very well, and that you have the built-in ability to make everyone around you smile. Don't shy away from things, move toward them. Put away your self-doubt and be more proactive in your approach to everything you encounter.

October 1, 2009

Here's your Tarot Reading for today, Joyce:

Love
Touchstone
Career

The World
Justice
The Emperor

Today | This Week

Today, you reach a balance in your emotional life, Joyce. Justice and the World set the scene for stability and faithfulness - it may even be that an affair you've kept secret up until now will be brought out into the open. You feel as if you're on solid ground and you're not afraid to look into the future of your relationship with confidence. And marriage is in the air. At work, now's the time to profit from your heightened charisma to bring things to a head, and why not try to sort out disagreements that still rankle with you? This is undoubtedly the time for discussion with your colleagues or partners. The Emperor and Justice reinforce your secure state of mind. Make use of your influence to justify your point of view and stabilize the situation.